Thursday, April 24, 2008

Grand Opening Gala

Evie and I are nearing the end of our second week at the secret bunker, and I am quite pleased with all we've managed to accomplish already. I have succeeded in Iron John's first major project and with only minor side effects.

Still, Evie is quick to remind me of our somewhat shaky and fear-inspiring start here. She has recommended we have a grand opening gala in order to show the minions our non-needle side. Evie has always been talented in the arena of good relations, (a number of the minions already seem quite taken with her), and I've decided to heed her advice. Next Friday we'll have our official grand opening, with free tongue depressors for all who come.

I've already spoken with the head catering minion to arrange for food. It should be quite the feast: cheeseburgers (though no hamburgers, they're currently out of stock), hot dogs, twinkies, pudding cups (I specially requested them, knowing they are Iron John's favorite), cake, ice cream, and duck flambe.

Iron John has ordered Minion GIR to help with the decorations. While I would never dare question Iron John's judgement, I do foresee a need to have Evie him strictly supervised while the streamers and balloons are going up.

Minion Downsizing: Success!

After extensive analysis and testing of the flannel samples, I have developed a successful minion downsizing formula. I tested it first on Minion Red Shirt when he returned from his inter-dimensional travel, and he is now back to normal size. I just finished injecting the remaining affected* minions**, and they're already showing improvement.

*Iron John approved Minion Brad's continued treatment of first formula. Brad has asked Evie for help in finding a suitable brassiere.

**Minion HJ-4242 remains unsighted. Dollhouse furniture has been rearranged and the living room has been repainted with left-over taupe from the operating room. Both of these took place during the night when no one was present to witness the minion's movements. I'll inquire about surveillance cameras.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Operating Room Repairs Underway

Since Torbjorn was spending so much time in the office anyway, I set him to work on repairing the operating room. Along with a handful of constructionally-talented minions, they're making quick work of it. If all goes well, it may be ready by the end of the week.

After the incident with the exam room, I decided it would be best to have Evie supervise closely while I am occupied with the project of downsizing minions. She was quite willing to undertake the responsibility and has been keeping close tabs on the construction crew.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Minion Downsizing: Testing 1.5

Progress notes for first round of testing.

Minion 23
Negative growth stopped. Adjusted dosage. Minion 23 has begun lactating.

Minion Brad
Lactation has continued. No other apparent change. Brad has requested continued treatment so that he may make extra money as a part-time wetnurse. I've forwarded Brad's request to Iron John for approval.

Minion HJ-4242
Still have not located minion, though dollhouse bed looked rumpled this morning.

Minion Red Shirt
Doubled espresso dosage, with addition of chocolate syrup. Minion's vibrations dramatically changed frequency, causing him to synch up with the frequency signature of an alternate dimension and suddenly disappear from this one. Expect minion's return when caffeine wears off.

*Note: Flannel samples are proving even more helpful than expected. I should have a new batch of tests ready early this week.

**Extra note: Torbjorn has been in the offices constantly the past couple of days. It's beginning to become a frustration. He keeps asking me to tell him the names of the koi fish every time I try and follow up on canceled appointments for annual physicals.