Father is currently gone, trying to research something or other in the jungles of Louisiana, leaving me alone in the bunker. It started out all right, and there were plenty of nice guys to talk to, then GIR went off with Steve and it all went wrong.
First there was coming in Monday morning to find that all the koi fish had died sometime over the weekend, during that heat wave we had. It was not pleasant.
Then, worst of all, was that horrible experience in the kitchen. Captain Gin asked me to help out with a new dish, I can't remember quite what it was, except it was flambe something. One thing led to another and all of a sudden I was on fire! My lovely, lovely hair, up in flames!
Now I'm stuck here with GIR and GIR won't stop asking me about my hair. Ugh. Father needs to get back and he needs to get back now.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
While the Master's Away, the Minions Will Play
Whew, the past two months have flown by. With Iron John's absence, the minions got up to shenanigans, many of which were flammable, and all of which resulted in a steady stream of patients. Evie and I have been so busy wrapping, stitching, smearing ointment, and checking pulses that I've fallen behind on my reports and have had no time at all for any projects.
On the bright side, the sudden surge in patient load also indicates that the gala was a grand success since the minions are no longer avoiding the infirmary.
On the bright side, the sudden surge in patient load also indicates that the gala was a grand success since the minions are no longer avoiding the infirmary.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Recuperating
I'd like to send out a formal thank you to all of the minions who sent cards, flowers, small mammals, and good wishes while I was ill. After all my best efforts at containment, a particularly potent strain of cowpox has had me bedridden ever since the day after the gala.
Luckily, Evie has been managing routine matters in my absence and there have been no major emergencies this past week.
I should be back to my usual duties within the next few days. The koi have quite enjoyed the small mammals. Thanks again,
-Dr. Foxtrot
Luckily, Evie has been managing routine matters in my absence and there have been no major emergencies this past week.
I should be back to my usual duties within the next few days. The koi have quite enjoyed the small mammals. Thanks again,
-Dr. Foxtrot
Friday, May 2, 2008
Post-Gala Report
I am pleased to say that the Grand Opening Gala was quite the event. We had a good minion turn out and completely ran out of tongue depressors. I wore a pair of gloves to keep my hand from being cold, though they did get badly stained with fruit punch.
Evie and I both feel that we've made a positive stride forward in PR here at the bunker. A couple of minons even requested that Evie take their blood pressure. Some irregularities there, by the way, I must look into it.
I am quite pleased, as well, at the number of minions who volunteered to stay after the gala and help Evie tidy up. At the rate they're going, the infirmary should be spotless in no time.
Evie and I both feel that we've made a positive stride forward in PR here at the bunker. A couple of minons even requested that Evie take their blood pressure. Some irregularities there, by the way, I must look into it.
I am quite pleased, as well, at the number of minions who volunteered to stay after the gala and help Evie tidy up. At the rate they're going, the infirmary should be spotless in no time.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Addendum to Previous Report
Greatest apologies, Iron John. My previous report was prematurely cut off by GIR as he rushed to aid Minion 23 in letting go of Evie. In the commotion, GIR caught the power cable and ripped it loose from the outlet.
My final note, completed: Perhaps I should begin work on a combination vaccine for *Ebola, Polio, and cowpox.
*I think it would be impractical to add the Black Death to the combination at this time as it is expensive.
**Unless you decide otherwise, I will likewise not include the chicken pox vaccine. I seem to recall you making a comment the other day about the comedic value of chicken pox, and I would not want to deprive you of your entertainment.
My final note, completed: Perhaps I should begin work on a combination vaccine for *Ebola, Polio, and cowpox.
*I think it would be impractical to add the Black Death to the combination at this time as it is expensive.
**Unless you decide otherwise, I will likewise not include the chicken pox vaccine. I seem to recall you making a comment the other day about the comedic value of chicken pox, and I would not want to deprive you of your entertainment.
Amended Gala Menu
Due to an incident in the kitchen, the catering for the Grand Opening Gala has been significantly restricted. However, our extra shipment of tongue depressors has arrived on time and Red Shirt's condition has been stablized.
With Evie's help and supervision, GIR has begun putting up decorations for the party. Torbjorn, who proved so useful in refurbishing the operating room, has not returned since he and Evie had a discussion yesterday afternoon. I get the impression they've had a falling out, but all Evie cares to say about it is that they've "grown apart."
Minion 23 has been making constant visits to the infirmary in the past two days. After cessation of treatments with my first serum, the lactation has stopped. I can find no reason for his visits, but he keeps insisting that he needs Evie to give another shot. While I find no evidence of it in his charts, he insists that he is behind on his vaccinations. He refuses to let me administer the injections, citing the coldness of my hands as the reason.
Today alone Minion 23 has been vaccinated for smallpox, Ebola, polio, cowpox, and the Black Death. Minion 23 is looking rather unsteady on his feet. Evie has offered to help him into a chair, and he seems to be having trouble letting go of her. Hrm... must be an vaccine interaction problem. Perhaps I should begin work on--
With Evie's help and supervision, GIR has begun putting up decorations for the party. Torbjorn, who proved so useful in refurbishing the operating room, has not returned since he and Evie had a discussion yesterday afternoon. I get the impression they've had a falling out, but all Evie cares to say about it is that they've "grown apart."
Minion 23 has been making constant visits to the infirmary in the past two days. After cessation of treatments with my first serum, the lactation has stopped. I can find no reason for his visits, but he keeps insisting that he needs Evie to give another shot. While I find no evidence of it in his charts, he insists that he is behind on his vaccinations. He refuses to let me administer the injections, citing the coldness of my hands as the reason.
Today alone Minion 23 has been vaccinated for smallpox, Ebola, polio, cowpox, and the Black Death. Minion 23 is looking rather unsteady on his feet. Evie has offered to help him into a chair, and he seems to be having trouble letting go of her. Hrm... must be an vaccine interaction problem. Perhaps I should begin work on--
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Grand Opening Gala
Evie and I are nearing the end of our second week at the secret bunker, and I am quite pleased with all we've managed to accomplish already. I have succeeded in Iron John's first major project and with only minor side effects.
Still, Evie is quick to remind me of our somewhat shaky and fear-inspiring start here. She has recommended we have a grand opening gala in order to show the minions our non-needle side. Evie has always been talented in the arena of good relations, (a number of the minions already seem quite taken with her), and I've decided to heed her advice. Next Friday we'll have our official grand opening, with free tongue depressors for all who come.
I've already spoken with the head catering minion to arrange for food. It should be quite the feast: cheeseburgers (though no hamburgers, they're currently out of stock), hot dogs, twinkies, pudding cups (I specially requested them, knowing they are Iron John's favorite), cake, ice cream, and duck flambe.
Iron John has ordered Minion GIR to help with the decorations. While I would never dare question Iron John's judgement, I do foresee a need to have Evie him strictly supervised while the streamers and balloons are going up.
Still, Evie is quick to remind me of our somewhat shaky and fear-inspiring start here. She has recommended we have a grand opening gala in order to show the minions our non-needle side. Evie has always been talented in the arena of good relations, (a number of the minions already seem quite taken with her), and I've decided to heed her advice. Next Friday we'll have our official grand opening, with free tongue depressors for all who come.
I've already spoken with the head catering minion to arrange for food. It should be quite the feast: cheeseburgers (though no hamburgers, they're currently out of stock), hot dogs, twinkies, pudding cups (I specially requested them, knowing they are Iron John's favorite), cake, ice cream, and duck flambe.
Iron John has ordered Minion GIR to help with the decorations. While I would never dare question Iron John's judgement, I do foresee a need to have Evie him strictly supervised while the streamers and balloons are going up.
Minion Downsizing: Success!
After extensive analysis and testing of the flannel samples, I have developed a successful minion downsizing formula. I tested it first on Minion Red Shirt when he returned from his inter-dimensional travel, and he is now back to normal size. I just finished injecting the remaining affected* minions**, and they're already showing improvement.
*Iron John approved Minion Brad's continued treatment of first formula. Brad has asked Evie for help in finding a suitable brassiere.
**Minion HJ-4242 remains unsighted. Dollhouse furniture has been rearranged and the living room has been repainted with left-over taupe from the operating room. Both of these took place during the night when no one was present to witness the minion's movements. I'll inquire about surveillance cameras.
*Iron John approved Minion Brad's continued treatment of first formula. Brad has asked Evie for help in finding a suitable brassiere.
**Minion HJ-4242 remains unsighted. Dollhouse furniture has been rearranged and the living room has been repainted with left-over taupe from the operating room. Both of these took place during the night when no one was present to witness the minion's movements. I'll inquire about surveillance cameras.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Operating Room Repairs Underway
Since Torbjorn was spending so much time in the office anyway, I set him to work on repairing the operating room. Along with a handful of constructionally-talented minions, they're making quick work of it. If all goes well, it may be ready by the end of the week.
After the incident with the exam room, I decided it would be best to have Evie supervise closely while I am occupied with the project of downsizing minions. She was quite willing to undertake the responsibility and has been keeping close tabs on the construction crew.
After the incident with the exam room, I decided it would be best to have Evie supervise closely while I am occupied with the project of downsizing minions. She was quite willing to undertake the responsibility and has been keeping close tabs on the construction crew.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Minion Downsizing: Testing 1.5
Progress notes for first round of testing.
Minion 23
Negative growth stopped. Adjusted dosage. Minion 23 has begun lactating.
Minion Brad
Lactation has continued. No other apparent change. Brad has requested continued treatment so that he may make extra money as a part-time wetnurse. I've forwarded Brad's request to Iron John for approval.
Minion HJ-4242
Still have not located minion, though dollhouse bed looked rumpled this morning.
Minion Red Shirt
Doubled espresso dosage, with addition of chocolate syrup. Minion's vibrations dramatically changed frequency, causing him to synch up with the frequency signature of an alternate dimension and suddenly disappear from this one. Expect minion's return when caffeine wears off.
*Note: Flannel samples are proving even more helpful than expected. I should have a new batch of tests ready early this week.
**Extra note: Torbjorn has been in the offices constantly the past couple of days. It's beginning to become a frustration. He keeps asking me to tell him the names of the koi fish every time I try and follow up on canceled appointments for annual physicals.
Minion 23
Negative growth stopped. Adjusted dosage. Minion 23 has begun lactating.
Minion Brad
Lactation has continued. No other apparent change. Brad has requested continued treatment so that he may make extra money as a part-time wetnurse. I've forwarded Brad's request to Iron John for approval.
Minion HJ-4242
Still have not located minion, though dollhouse bed looked rumpled this morning.
Minion Red Shirt
Doubled espresso dosage, with addition of chocolate syrup. Minion's vibrations dramatically changed frequency, causing him to synch up with the frequency signature of an alternate dimension and suddenly disappear from this one. Expect minion's return when caffeine wears off.
*Note: Flannel samples are proving even more helpful than expected. I should have a new batch of tests ready early this week.
**Extra note: Torbjorn has been in the offices constantly the past couple of days. It's beginning to become a frustration. He keeps asking me to tell him the names of the koi fish every time I try and follow up on canceled appointments for annual physicals.
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