Minion Downsizing: 1st Tests

As per Iron John's instructions, I've begun work on restoring the accidentally enlarged minions to their normal sizes.

Test 1
Subject: Minion 23
Procedure: Injected minion with chemical to reverse effects of pituitary gland.
Result: Initially promising. Minion has already lost a quarter inch of height since last night.

Test 2
Subject: Minion Brad
Procedure: Injected minion with different chemical to affect pituitary gland.
Result: Minion woke this morning to discover he had begun lactating. No other changes observed. Will continue test for forty-eight hours to watch for additional effects.

Test 3
Subject: Minion HJ-4242
Procedure: Treated minion with laser therapy from the shrink-ray I found in storage.
Result: After the glow cleared, was unable to find minion. Must remember to look for shrink-ray instruction booklet. In meantime, have left out dollhouse for the minion.

Test 4
Subject: Red Shirt
Procedure: Treated minion with large doses of espresso (approx. one gallon over a period of two hours) to stunt growth.
Result: Inconclusive. Minion has developed a blurry outline, height measurements currently impossible due to vibrations.

For the time being, I will continue to monitor the status of the initial testing subjects and spend the rest of the day in the lab analyzing the blood, urine, hair, and flannel samples taken from a sampling of super-sized minions.